Game On!

So in about 10 hours, I'll be off to to work, ready to re-enter the "real world." GULP.

I'm now sure how mentally prepared I am for this, but I'm defintely prepared in every other way. My alarm is set, my Metro Card is packed away, my clothes are all laid out for tomorrow and the car service has been called (I'm going to take car service in the morning and then try commuting by bus in the evening). I also packed my lunch of rolls with low-fat cream cheese, bananas, grapes and cheese, and I even have my dinner ready for tomorrow night (roast chicken with steamed veggies) since I have a counseling session right after work. Now all I need is a little courage.

I'm not sure why I'm so nervous about returning to my office. I mean, I've been at this job for 12 years, almost 13, if you count the internship I did beforehand. I've been working for the past month at home. And I know that everyone is excited to have me back. But somehow the idea of going off into the "real world" when I'm still feeling vulnerable is scary. The last time I commuted, I ended up with a broken leg -- and I've felt protected being in my nice, cozy apartment with my cat by my side.

But I know that in the long run, going back to work will be good for me. I do miss Manhattan and am looking forward to being back there every day. I'm also looking forward to walking around the city when my leg is stronger and I can cover more distances. For a while, I was circling three miles around the city after work each day, and I really enjoyed it. It was a time for me to get in shape and have some space for myself.

Still, I can't get rid of these butterflies in my stomach. I hope I can sleep tonight! I'll be back tomorrow to give you an update on my latest adventure...

Back To The Land Of the Living

I got a surprise call this week from my job: seems that my temporary disability has run out (it ends after three months) and if I don't return to work, my job could be in jeopardy. Happily, my boss and the nice HR lady were willing to find a loophole and have finally allowed me to work from home for the next few weeks. I start tomorrow. I'm hoping that I'll be up to commuting at the end of the month, but this will be a nice way to transition back to full-time employment.

I'm not entirely sure why I wasn't allowed to work from home in the first place (something to do with disability payment laws, I think), but I'm touched that my boss fought for me and is making sure that my job remains safe. As you know, I've had some doubts about the job and about how much I'm actually respected at my office, but this shows that I am. I have to say that during this whole time, none of my higher-ups or anyone from HR has ever given me a difficult time about me being absent.

I'm still not sure what will happen with the job in the future, but for now, I'm looking forward to returning and feeling useful again. I think I can deal with it not being my dream job as long as I find some other purpose or project to keep me busy. For now, I guess, it's getting back on my feet and improving my health.

Still, I'm trying to think about my longer-term goals. My counselor thinks that I should eventually do something relating to weight loss. I have to say, I really like this idea, even though I haven't yet been very successful at it myself. But I like writing and enjoy helping people ... if I could somehow tie all of these things together in assisting other obese people with their weight-loss goals, that would be great. I just haven't yet figured out what that is. Perhaps as I continue to work on my own body, some ideas will come to me.

For now, it'll be nice to return to work and bring home some decent money. Disability DOES NOT pay well at all! Maybe when all is said and done, I'll splurge on some new shoes. Now that I can wear normal shoes again, this seems like an appropriate way to celebrate my gradual return to normalcy.