Saturday, September 17, 2011

One Foot Forward...

It's about a month and a half until my diabetes walk and the training is going well. Today, Jon and I did a three mile loop around the neighborhood. The weather was great and it felt really good to be moving; the hills are getting easier to conquer and I'm having to stop less often. I feel like I'll be very prepared for five miles by the end of October if I keep this up. I'd still like to get some more speed in my walking. I can comfortably go about two miles an hour, which is rather slow. I'd like to get up to 2.5 miles and hour so I can finish the event in two. I doubt that the friends whom I'm walking with are going to want to wait all day for me.

My eating and weight loss efforts are going well, too. More people are noticing the weight loss. My friend Karen says that she can see it in my face. I still can't tell so much, but my clothes are getting kind of baggy. I ordered some new fall outfits in a size below what I'm wearing now so that I can shrink into them.

Even though I know I'm fat, I sometimes get a wake up call as to how large I really am. This happened when a friend posted video clips of her recent wedding. It was a beautiful occasion and I felt attractive that day; I was wearing a new dress that fit well and got a lot of compliments. However, when I saw myself on screen, I couldn't believe how HUGE I was! Not only that, but I looked bloated and deathly pale. Granted, my diabetes was out of control at the time, so that probably contributed to it, but I was still surprised. This was when I believed I looked good! Still, I know I've lost weight since then and Karen commented that the color is in my cheeks again. Plus, another friend sent me a photo from last week's party at Scott's and save for my double chin, I didn't look bad.

Honestly, though, I'm not obsessed with my looks. I know I'm not a beauty queen, but figure I'll look better as my health improves. Meantime, I'm enjoying this newfound energy that I have. After feeling so sluggish for months and months, actually wating to DO stuff is kind of a novelty. Today I woke up and finished a necklace I've been working on. We then went for our walk and finished off our evening with dinner and a movie. And now I'm writing a blog entry! Just a few months ago, I would've spent the weekend in bed or on the couch watching TV, but I got a lot done today -- and felt as if I were part of the world. Even when I was at the party last week, I had more energy and more of a sense that I was a part of things.

I have some friends who wake up early to go to the gym or to clean their homes, or to do whatever, and I never really understood that. I still like to sleep in on weekends, but no longer sleep the entire day away. I have much moe of a desire to get things done and to live my life rather than waste it.

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