I See London, I See France...

How can I tell that I'm losing weight? My skirt fell down around my ankles ... in the middle of my office!

I was walking down the corridor when, all of a sudden, I felt a little breeze and well, there was my skirt on the floor. Two women happened to be walking by just then and were like, "We didn't see anything." I quickly pulled it back up and laughed about it, but man, that was embarrasing. Thankfully, I was wearing a very long shirt, so I didn't expose too much. For the rest of the day, I held onto my skirt while I walked so it wouldn't slip again. I guess I should donate it to Good Will.

Still, out of all the problems to have, this isn't a bad one. I hope that more of my clothes will be falling off of me very soon -- though not in public, please.

Today, I met with the diabetes educator. She and my doctor want me to start yet another drug called Victroza. It's an injection and is supposed to aid with weight loss by making me less insulin resistant. Sounds intriguing, but the big side effect is nausea and lowered blood sugar. I can deal with the second; my doctor will just have to adjust my other meds to even things out. But I hate the idea of being nauseous for an extended amount of time. She suggested that I try it for a few days and see if I can tolerate it, so I'm going to begin when we return from our vacation next week. No sense in messing up our trip. If I can tolerate it, though, and the weight comes off, it'll be worth it.

Meantime, I've started training for the New Year's Walk. I'm trying to increase my speed, but ended up doing something weird to my foot. It feels like I pulled a muscle. I'm resting it tonight, but really hope it feels better by the weekend. It's supposed to be gorgeous outside and a friend is coming to visit. I figured that we could take a walk around the neighborhood and then go to the movies.

So that's my life in a nutshell at the moment. Things are good and I'm optimistic about the future.

Bitter Pill

Working out has definitely helped me get some of my fitness back, but I've also made another life change: I went back on my meds. I was hoping that I could stop taking the pills that my doctor had prescribed for insulin resistance, but after being off them for about eight months, all of my old symptoms returned: break-outs, brittle nails, bloating, sallow skin, lethargy. I've been taking them again for about a week ... and I already feel better. I've also decided to finally see a new edincrinologist when we return from Greece. I was originally planning to wait until I lose more weight, but I'm realizing that I have a real problem. Right now, I'm researching doctors in NYC; if anyone knows of a capable endo with a good bedside manner who won't judge my weight, I'm open to suggestions!

I'm not going to argue that going off the pills was an idiotic thing to do. But after going for so many medical things relating to my leg the last year, it felt nice to be "clean." Plus, I was feeling good. I was in PT, I was losing weight, I was getting back on my feet. I liked the thought that I was getting healthy enough to be pill-free.

Unfortunately, my body doesn't want to cooperate. As I've written before, this winter was really difficult for me because I spent most of it sick. Then I started getting horrible "bacne" and excess hair on my face. I started skipping periods. That's exactly what happened the last time when my doctor put me on meds. Again, I'm a moron for letting it get to this point, but well, I'd rather move on than dwell on a bad decision.

In the week that I've been back on my pills, I've already lost some weight and my back and face have cleared up significantly. I'm also less lethargic. I'm getting more physical benefits from losing weight, too; when we went to the movies, for example, I fit in the chairs a lot more comfortably.

In addition to losing more weight, I do know that I have to take care of myself by seeing my doctors more often. I'm embarrassed to share this story about my pills because really, what kind of person goes off meds that she needs? But I want to be honest with my readers -- and myself -- when I mess up.