I Feel Yucky

Or yukky in this case. Perhaps this is due to the many painkillers I've been taking or to the cabin fever I'm enduring since I've been in bed for the past few days. But the weeks of using a bed pan (yes, I use one -- I have little choice in the matter since I can't walk to the bathroom or wheel in there since it's up a step) and taking sponge baths (which get you clean, but not as well as a shower) are beginning to take their toll. The plan is for Jon to build a ramp so that we can get the wheelchair up the step to the bathroom and for me to soon get a walker, meaning that my shower woes should soon be over. But in the meantime, I present you this song in honor of my current state.

I Feel Yucky (sung to the tune of "I Feel Pretty")

I feel yucky
Oh, so yucky,
I feel slimy,
And grimy,
And gross,

And I pity,
Anyone who has to get real close,
La la la la la la la la la la!

I feel stanky,
Oh, so stanky,
I feel smelly and grungy and ripe,

And I envy,
Any girl who isn't me tonight,
La la la la la la la la la la!

See that dirty girl in the mirror now,
Hasn't had a shower for weeks,
Sponge baths go so far,
But are too sub-par,
And now this woman really reeks!

I feel unkempt,
Oh, so umkempt,
I'm disheveled, unraveled a fright,
I feel yucky,
Wish that I could take a shower tonight!