Great Expectations

One of the weight loss blogs I read frequently is Jennette Fulda's Pasta Queen (www.pastaqueen.com). The author weighed close to 400 pounds at one point and dropped down to about 180 through diet and exercise. Aside from the fact that she managed to accomplish this, she's a wonderful, witty writer, who is very honest about the ups and down in her weight loss journey. It wasn't an easy road for her -- and still isn't, even though she weighs less now.

Recently, she was featured in an article about the expectations that come with losing weight (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36784702/ns/health-behavior//), and how many people are disappointed when their thinner selves end up not being so different from their fatter selves.

This has got me thinking -- what are MY expectations for when I'm thin? Do I really think that my life will suddenly be better and I'll be more confident and better loved than I was before?

Well, no, not really. Ironically, I'm actually much more social now as a fat person than I was when I was thin. I'm not the life of the party, but I do have a lot of good friends and an active social life. And come to think of it, I'm not sure that I even WANT to be the life of the party, because I have friends who are and it's a lot of work!

As for the confidence thing, I definitely could some more of that and think that losing weight will help. But it's not because I believe that being thinner will suddenly make me more likeable and desirable. The big thing that it will do for me, however, is give me more mobility. It'll be easier for me to run and jump and climb stuff and not have to worry about my body getting in the way. I've always been a fraidy cat, even when I was thinner, so I'm not planning to jump out of planes when I get down to my goal weight. I would love to do something like scuba diving, though, which I can't see doing at this weight because I'm not sure they'd have a suit my size. I'd also be nervous about being able to pull my body back up into the boat. Another thing I'd like to do is to be able to climb a glacier. We went to New Zealand before -- and this was after I'd lost quite a bit of weight -- but I still wasn't in good enough shape to go on a glacier climb, which is something I really want to do. We walked along side the glacier, but it wasn't the same.

These are the types of things that I feel like I'm missing out on -- having the confidence to try something new with my body without worrying about it getting in the way or me getting hurt. One of my friends is also an avid traveler and was able to climb a glacier, as well as hike through the Andes. Both were extremely difficult, she says, but she was able to do them, which at the moment, I'm not. Even without the broken leg, walking was getting difficult for me, so the idea of being able to hike seems almost impossible for me at this point in time.

That said, I do think that losing weight will drastically change my life -- not in a fantastical, "everything will be better," sort of way, but I'll be given more freedom and ease to enjoy life and do the things I want. I hope that day comes sooner rather than later.