Thursday, May 27, 2010

Sleeping Beauty

Now that I've been recovering from my broken leg for a few weeks, it's coming up in my dreams; I keep dreaming that I'm walking on it and that it's OK -- hopefully a good sign for those of you who believe in dreams predicting the future.

That said, I also have frequent dreams about my weight, which apparently I can't even escape in my sleep. The most common ones I have are where I'm naked and in public and everyone is mocking my weight; I'm at a clothing store and nothing fits (that one is pretty close to reality, sadly); I'm fighting with my mom over my weight (another reality-based one) or I'm reuniting with someone from high school and they're laughing at me for no longer being thin.

Well, last night I finally had a new variation on the "being fat and getting mocked" dream. In it, Jon urged me to start dating again, "just in case" something happened to him. I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but agreed to go on a few blind dates just to shut him up. Unfortunately (or fortunately since I'm MARRIED, even while I'm asleep), my "dream" date (heh) turned out to be anything but and stated that he couldn't see why anyone would want to be with a fat chick like me (sidenote: El Jerko resembled George Costanza, so he was not exactly a looker himself!). I then stood up in the middle of the restaurant that we were in and loudly ordered him to "pack his penis and go." HA!

While in real-life, I don't intend to start dating anytime soon -- my actual husband and gay trophy husband are all I need right now -- I do love the line and am now going to have to find ways to use, "Pack your penis and go," in everyday conversation. I'm pleased that while my dream self may be as heavy as my real self, that at least we both can come up with a good zinger on the spot.

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