Whew, I'm wiped tonight. Yesterday was my first craft show for my jewelry, so Jon and I got up at the crack of dawn and then spent the day in the freezing cold and wind as I sold my stuff. But I made a few sales and learned some stuff about retail. All in all, it was an interesting day.
I got in some exercise since I had to carry my suitcase full of jewelry and supplies, but my eating wasn't great. Though I brought some granola bars and low-fat string cheese, I ended up having some chocolate pretzels and a barbecue pork sandwich, though to be fair, I only ate about a quarter of the sandwich because it was fatty and gross. Not my best day, but I didn't go crazy, which was good since I was surrounded by fresh-baked cookies and candies at the event. Today, I returned to eating well and am looking forward to getting back to the gym tomorrow. Only six weeks until Greece; I've really got to step it up a notch.
Meanwhile, I've been watching a lot of "Fat TV" in search of inspiration. There are a lot of shows featuring obese people these days, which is kind of scary. But it's good to know that I'm not alone in my struggles.
One of the shows that speaks to me and frustrates me at the same time is RUBY, which is on the Style network. It chronicles the weight struggles of 40something Ruby Gettinger, who went from being 700-plus lbs to about 350. She almost made it out of the 300s ... and then gained about 60 pounds.
What I appreciate about the show is that it shows a real woman's struggle. It's not like THE BIGGEST LOSER, where contestants lose weight very quickly ... and then we don't really hear from them. Ruby is realistic and raw; we see her weight go up and down, and her struggling to not binge -- which is what it's like for many of us who have eating issues.
Unfortunately, much of the series frustrates me in that it's contrived. Ruby claims to have no childhood memories, a plot point which has been dragged out for four seasons. I suspect that something bad happened to her, like she was molested, but I'm not sure that I really buy that she blacked it out. I mean, she's still in touch with so many people from her childhood, how can they not jog at least some of her memories?
I'm also finding Ruby to be annoying. She's extremely childlike, using words like, "Hacky" (Happy and wacky) or saying things like, "What the hellicopter?" If she doesn't get her way, she whines. Her friends, Jeff and Georgia, are at her every beck and call.
But what furstrates me the most is that she just doesn't seem to be interested in changing her lifestyle. She's been handed everything-- trainers, shrinks, supportive friends -- and a TV show! And yet she whines whenever her friends eat pizza in front of her and just doesn't seem invested in trying her trainers' workouts. She blames all of her problems on others.
On the one hand, I feel for her because I've been there. Hell, I AM there. I know how difficult it is to keep up your motivation when you have so much to lose. I know what it's like when your friends can eat "normal" foods and you have to watch yourself. I know how it is to lose a lot of weight and then gain it back.
But I've tried. I really have. I've been successful ... and then not so much, but I keep trying and trying again. And I like to think that I act like an adult, even if I do have a weird sense of humor. Ruby doesn't have a job and basically has minions; my friends would kill me if I made them spray tan my naked body (yes, Ruby did this in one episode). I don't yell at people for eating "bad" food in my presence.
I don't expect Ruby's weight loss to be continuous and consistent, but I wish we were watching a more motivated, mature role model. Either way, I hope that Ruby loses the weight. My weight problems are pretty bad, but hers are like a trainwreck. I'd really like to see her get it together.
Showing posts with label biggest loser. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biggest loser. Show all posts
Monday, April 4, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Birthday Madness
Tonight was my sixth and final birthday celebration. Yes, I ended up having a birthweek rather than a birthday this year, but it felt really good to be acknowledged by so many friends and family members. I think that everyone felt badly for me having such a shitty year in 2010 and wanted to make up for my broken leg by making sure I had a good time. Which I did! This was definitely one of my best birthdays.
I'm also happy that I did pretty well with eating. I had some alcohol and a lot of food on my actual birthday, but I didn't go overboard with cake or candy, or anything like that.
This evening, I went out with Scott for dinner. I had chicken with veggies, fries and salad, but we were talking the whole time, so I only ended up eating about half of my meal. That was fine, though, as I felt full, but not stuffed.
Scott also noticed that I'm having an easier time walking. Now that the snow has melted somewhat, it's easier for me to navigate the sidewalks, but I also know that losing weight, even just a few pounds, has helped tremendously. I can now walk a few blocks before I have to stop and sit down, as opposed to just a few feet.
After I walked Scott to the train, I'd planned to take the bus the rest of the way. But after sitting at the stop for about 10 minutes, I was getting cold and realized that I had to pee, so I walked the rest of the way home. It wasn't a long walk, only 10 minutes or so, but I'm proud of myself for doing it. Plus, it was a nice night and it felt good to be outside.
I'm glad that it's February and we're getting closer to spring. This winter has been awful for me, but I'm looking forward to being active when the warmer weather hits. Last spring, I was in a wheelchair. I'd like this spring to be as happy as this year's birthday.
I'm also happy that I did pretty well with eating. I had some alcohol and a lot of food on my actual birthday, but I didn't go overboard with cake or candy, or anything like that.
This evening, I went out with Scott for dinner. I had chicken with veggies, fries and salad, but we were talking the whole time, so I only ended up eating about half of my meal. That was fine, though, as I felt full, but not stuffed.
Scott also noticed that I'm having an easier time walking. Now that the snow has melted somewhat, it's easier for me to navigate the sidewalks, but I also know that losing weight, even just a few pounds, has helped tremendously. I can now walk a few blocks before I have to stop and sit down, as opposed to just a few feet.
After I walked Scott to the train, I'd planned to take the bus the rest of the way. But after sitting at the stop for about 10 minutes, I was getting cold and realized that I had to pee, so I walked the rest of the way home. It wasn't a long walk, only 10 minutes or so, but I'm proud of myself for doing it. Plus, it was a nice night and it felt good to be outside.
I'm glad that it's February and we're getting closer to spring. This winter has been awful for me, but I'm looking forward to being active when the warmer weather hits. Last spring, I was in a wheelchair. I'd like this spring to be as happy as this year's birthday.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
All Hail The Warrior Queen
It's been two days since I've been back on my feet post broken leg, but today was the first day I did standing exercises in physical therapy. I'm proud to say that it went really, really well.
I explained to them that I wanted to be challenged and they didn't disappoint. My session ended up lasting more than two hours!
I'm really glad that I've been doing some standing exercises on my own for the past couple of days, so I wasn't too nervous when they asked me to get out of the wheelchair. However, I was a little hesitant when the therapists asked me to do my workout barefoot, explaining that I wouldn't be able to move as well with the AirCast. It really wasn't bad, though. I feared that without the brace, my ankle would be twisting all over the place and I'd break it again, but my leg felt surprisingly stable. Then again, I have plates and screws in it, so I have some extra support there.
Thanks to all of the practice I've had lifting myself in and out of chairs and cars and beds, etc., I was able to pull myself up out of my chair without help -- and the therapists were impressed. They then had me do 50 semi-squats, 50 shifts of weight from one foot to another and 60 marches in place. Those were the most difficult because whenever my good leg came up, all of my weight was on my bad leg. I had to take a couple of breaks during this exercise, but I managed to do 10 extra than they'd asked for.
One of the therapists, Dave, also had me do a bunch of resistance band exercises, which I really liked. He initially had me using a band that had the resistance of 1-2 pounds (the resistance comes from the thickness of the material; it's more "bendy" when the resistance is lower), but it was too easy for me and he gave me the next level up, 3-4 pounds. That was actually kind of easy for me, too, so I'm going to try the next level during my session on Tuesday. But he was pleased to see that I was doing so well and wasn't in too much pain -- and then called me a "warrior," which was cool. I think he appreciated having a patient who was willing to work hard and was enthusiastic about the process. I think it's the A-student in me; a teacher gives me an assignment and I want to do well.
It was frustrating how out of breath I was getting, though, even from just a few minutes of exercises. I don't know if it's because of my weight or because my leg is still so weak and I have to concentrate so hard to move it still. But I pushed through and got everything done. I'll continue to do the same workouts using that railing in our hallway (with Jon spotting me for safety).
One thing I like about these therapists is that they're encouraging, but not pushy to the point that you want to kill them. I never went for the whole drill sergeant thing with teachers or conductors or coaches. I'm just too thin-skinned. But these guys gave me a lot of positive reinforcement and kicked my ass in the process.
All of this is making me wonder if I should work with a personal trainer in the future. My big concern with a trainer is that many don't know how to deal with obese clients. From the few times I've dealt with them and from what I've heard of other overweight people who've worked with them, they tend to underestimate or overestimate their clients' abilities. Back in my beloved gym, I tried out a trainer, but he was too scared to challenge me; I think he was afraid I'd get a heart attack while using the elliptical or something, so I got bored and ended up working out on my own. However, I've also heard many stories of trainers telling obese people to run or do things that can hurt their knees and backs. I'm all for being pushed, but there are safety concerns that come with obesity. I can't even watch The Biggest Loser because my knees hurt just watching these seriously overweight people run on treadmills with the trainers barking at them. Some people go for that, I guess, but I wish we'd see a show where they demonstrated realistic exercises for obese people to do. Maybe I can come up with such a show in the future when I'm in shape.
Anyway, I digress, but it feels good to be back on a regular exercise program, even if my movements are limited for now. It was nice to be told that I'm doing a great job with something physical. After months of being unable to do a lot of stuff, this was just what I needed.
I explained to them that I wanted to be challenged and they didn't disappoint. My session ended up lasting more than two hours!
I'm really glad that I've been doing some standing exercises on my own for the past couple of days, so I wasn't too nervous when they asked me to get out of the wheelchair. However, I was a little hesitant when the therapists asked me to do my workout barefoot, explaining that I wouldn't be able to move as well with the AirCast. It really wasn't bad, though. I feared that without the brace, my ankle would be twisting all over the place and I'd break it again, but my leg felt surprisingly stable. Then again, I have plates and screws in it, so I have some extra support there.
Thanks to all of the practice I've had lifting myself in and out of chairs and cars and beds, etc., I was able to pull myself up out of my chair without help -- and the therapists were impressed. They then had me do 50 semi-squats, 50 shifts of weight from one foot to another and 60 marches in place. Those were the most difficult because whenever my good leg came up, all of my weight was on my bad leg. I had to take a couple of breaks during this exercise, but I managed to do 10 extra than they'd asked for.
One of the therapists, Dave, also had me do a bunch of resistance band exercises, which I really liked. He initially had me using a band that had the resistance of 1-2 pounds (the resistance comes from the thickness of the material; it's more "bendy" when the resistance is lower), but it was too easy for me and he gave me the next level up, 3-4 pounds. That was actually kind of easy for me, too, so I'm going to try the next level during my session on Tuesday. But he was pleased to see that I was doing so well and wasn't in too much pain -- and then called me a "warrior," which was cool. I think he appreciated having a patient who was willing to work hard and was enthusiastic about the process. I think it's the A-student in me; a teacher gives me an assignment and I want to do well.
It was frustrating how out of breath I was getting, though, even from just a few minutes of exercises. I don't know if it's because of my weight or because my leg is still so weak and I have to concentrate so hard to move it still. But I pushed through and got everything done. I'll continue to do the same workouts using that railing in our hallway (with Jon spotting me for safety).
One thing I like about these therapists is that they're encouraging, but not pushy to the point that you want to kill them. I never went for the whole drill sergeant thing with teachers or conductors or coaches. I'm just too thin-skinned. But these guys gave me a lot of positive reinforcement and kicked my ass in the process.
All of this is making me wonder if I should work with a personal trainer in the future. My big concern with a trainer is that many don't know how to deal with obese clients. From the few times I've dealt with them and from what I've heard of other overweight people who've worked with them, they tend to underestimate or overestimate their clients' abilities. Back in my beloved gym, I tried out a trainer, but he was too scared to challenge me; I think he was afraid I'd get a heart attack while using the elliptical or something, so I got bored and ended up working out on my own. However, I've also heard many stories of trainers telling obese people to run or do things that can hurt their knees and backs. I'm all for being pushed, but there are safety concerns that come with obesity. I can't even watch The Biggest Loser because my knees hurt just watching these seriously overweight people run on treadmills with the trainers barking at them. Some people go for that, I guess, but I wish we'd see a show where they demonstrated realistic exercises for obese people to do. Maybe I can come up with such a show in the future when I'm in shape.
Anyway, I digress, but it feels good to be back on a regular exercise program, even if my movements are limited for now. It was nice to be told that I'm doing a great job with something physical. After months of being unable to do a lot of stuff, this was just what I needed.
Friday, January 8, 2010
"Failure" Is Not An Option
After working out for three days in a row, my muscles were screaming for mercy and my husband suggested I take a little break. So I took yesterday and tonight off and will then work out tomorrow and Sunday. We're going to a friend's party tomorrow night, so I figure it makes sense to work out before and after, and get in some Weight Watchers Activity POINTS.
Now that I'm trying to get back in shape, I've been watching a lot of those morbid obesity programs on Discovery Health, which they seem to run on loop. I think for some, these shows are a version of a modern day circus side show, "Come see the fat lady!" But for me, they're a cautionary tale. Right now, I almost AM one of those people who's bedridden and can barely move. I'm lucky because even though it's difficult, I CAN walk and weight train and at least function in day-to-day life. It wears me out way more than it should, but I know that if I keep up my workouts, I'll start to feel less of an effort in doing things.
One of the shows that especially caught my attention was an interview with THE BIGGEST LOSER's Season 3 winner, Erik. Since the show has ended, he's gained back a good portion of the weight he lost and has been very open and candid about his journey. To his credit, he's trying to get back on track, which I why I don't see him as a "failure" at all. To me, a failure is when you completely give up the fight. He hasn't yet. Gaining back the weight obviously isn't healthy, but it doesn't mean that he's a bad person or a failure. It just means that he has to start over.
For the record, I have very mixed feelings about the show, BL. I think it's great that these morbidly obese people lose so much weight, but the way they do it scares me. Granted, I'm not a doctor and I'm hardly an endorsement for weight-loss success, but I've read enough fitness magazines and articles and have spoken with enough fitness experts to know that a) you're supposed to work out until you "feel the burn," not until you feel significant pain b) losing weight rapidly can be dangerous and c) you need to find a workout regime that you ENJOY and that fits into your life so you keep on doing it. d) You need to start out SLOWLY. Shipping off these folks to a ranch for however many weeks where they work out for hours and hours a day (while being screamed at, no less) just seems so unrealistic, as does the incredible losses they manage in such a short amount of time. It also frightens me to see these huge men and women running and jumping (again, while being shrieked at. I swear, if Jillian or Bob screamed the F-bomb in my face, I'd kick 'em). My knees and back hurt just watching them and I really wish that someone would do a show where they showed APPROPRIATE exercises for the obese.
Anyway, Erik admitted that once the limelight died down, he had trouble staying on track and maintaining. This is something that concerns me, too. When you lose weight, there's a certain "high" that comes with seeing the numbers drop, getting compliments, etc. But what do you do when you get to the "end?" See, that's the problem -- there is no end, and that's why, I think that maintaining is going to be even more difficult than losing the weight. Also, given my past with eating disorders, I'm a little worried that I'll start going in the other extreme just to see the numbers go down.
This is why I'm trying to learn to eat "normally" now. I'm still struggling to accept that having treats in moderation is okay and that this doesn't have to be an all or nothing course. Hopefully, by the time I reach a point where my body is healthy, my mind will be, as well.
Now that I'm trying to get back in shape, I've been watching a lot of those morbid obesity programs on Discovery Health, which they seem to run on loop. I think for some, these shows are a version of a modern day circus side show, "Come see the fat lady!" But for me, they're a cautionary tale. Right now, I almost AM one of those people who's bedridden and can barely move. I'm lucky because even though it's difficult, I CAN walk and weight train and at least function in day-to-day life. It wears me out way more than it should, but I know that if I keep up my workouts, I'll start to feel less of an effort in doing things.
One of the shows that especially caught my attention was an interview with THE BIGGEST LOSER's Season 3 winner, Erik. Since the show has ended, he's gained back a good portion of the weight he lost and has been very open and candid about his journey. To his credit, he's trying to get back on track, which I why I don't see him as a "failure" at all. To me, a failure is when you completely give up the fight. He hasn't yet. Gaining back the weight obviously isn't healthy, but it doesn't mean that he's a bad person or a failure. It just means that he has to start over.
For the record, I have very mixed feelings about the show, BL. I think it's great that these morbidly obese people lose so much weight, but the way they do it scares me. Granted, I'm not a doctor and I'm hardly an endorsement for weight-loss success, but I've read enough fitness magazines and articles and have spoken with enough fitness experts to know that a) you're supposed to work out until you "feel the burn," not until you feel significant pain b) losing weight rapidly can be dangerous and c) you need to find a workout regime that you ENJOY and that fits into your life so you keep on doing it. d) You need to start out SLOWLY. Shipping off these folks to a ranch for however many weeks where they work out for hours and hours a day (while being screamed at, no less) just seems so unrealistic, as does the incredible losses they manage in such a short amount of time. It also frightens me to see these huge men and women running and jumping (again, while being shrieked at. I swear, if Jillian or Bob screamed the F-bomb in my face, I'd kick 'em). My knees and back hurt just watching them and I really wish that someone would do a show where they showed APPROPRIATE exercises for the obese.
Anyway, Erik admitted that once the limelight died down, he had trouble staying on track and maintaining. This is something that concerns me, too. When you lose weight, there's a certain "high" that comes with seeing the numbers drop, getting compliments, etc. But what do you do when you get to the "end?" See, that's the problem -- there is no end, and that's why, I think that maintaining is going to be even more difficult than losing the weight. Also, given my past with eating disorders, I'm a little worried that I'll start going in the other extreme just to see the numbers go down.
This is why I'm trying to learn to eat "normally" now. I'm still struggling to accept that having treats in moderation is okay and that this doesn't have to be an all or nothing course. Hopefully, by the time I reach a point where my body is healthy, my mind will be, as well.
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