Sweatin' It Out

I felt badly about being so unproductive yesterday so I went to the gym tonight and did 20 minutes on the elliptical and then 15 on the bike. I broke a nice sweat and felt really good afterward. I plan to go to the gym more often, even if it's just for 40 minutes a few times a week. For now, I'm hoping that it'll build up my strength for the walk. Altogether, I did about three miles worth of stuff tonight so I was happy with that.

The last time I went to the gym, I was literally exhausted just from walking across the room. Tonight, I felt so much stronger and capable. I'd planned to do 15 minutes on the elliptical, but I was having a good workout so I added five minutes. I wanted to use the treadmill, too, but it's almost impossible to get one in the evening. I've been walking a lot, anyway, so it's not like I missed out.

This upcoming week is going to be crazy! I have my doctor's appointment on Thursday. I have a jewelry show on Saturday and then on Sunday, we're hosting a party for Jon's 40th. So far, about 35 people are attending. Aaahhhh!!!! I still have so much to do before both events, but I'm trying not to stress about it. Going to the gym is the perfect way to help keep my sanity intact.

Great Expectations

When I spoke with my friend Scott yesterday, he noted that I seem to be in a positive place. I guess I am. Things definitely aren't perfect, especially when it comes to my weight and health, but I'm making progress. I can't say for sure that losing weight will prolong my life -- even the healthiest people can unfortunately be struck with a terminal illness -- but losing weight is definitely starting to enhance the quality of my life.

I can get in and out of chairs a lot more easily, without having to heave myself up, and my walking is improving each day. Pretty soon, my list of "normal" things that I'm able to do will expand: I'll be able to stand in line, walk around a store to shop, take a walk around a lake, go hiking... maybe I'll even be able to ride a bike or go scuba diving at some point. It's amazing how many doors open for you just if you can move. You don't even have to be in great shape to experience these things; you just have to be in average enough health so that you can move your body the way that it's meant to without hundreds of extra pounds of fat attached to it.

This evening at the gym I really surprised myself. I did my 10 minutes on the elliptical and kept the resistance at level 3. Those 10 minutes felt easy, so I'm going to try 15 when I return on Thursday. I then went to the bike and pedaled for a few minutes; by now, I can go fast enough so that the bike registers me. But after about five minutes, I started to experiment and turned it to Level 2. It felt good. Two minutes later, I moved on to Level 3. I kept going, raising the levels every couple of minutes until I topped out at Level 6! I couldn't believe it. Just a couple of weeks ago, I could barely pedal the bike. I did 15 minutes of moving from one level to another, then cooled down for five. It was a good ride.

They say it takes about six weeks to see a difference when you work out. I'm getting to that mark and I can feel some changes. I'm still huge but my stomach is less obstrusive and I'm gaining strength in my body. I still have about two months until Greece, so there's a lot of work to be done. I'm not expecting to be a Grecian goddess, but I feel as if I'm training for my own, personal Olympics.

Mrs. Thighs Vs. The Machine

Tonight, I was finally accepted into an exclusive club: the I can pedal quickly enough so that the bike registers me club! I managed to keep up the momentum for five minutes; I then began to get tired and the machine cut me off. Still, I managed to do 20 minutes on the bike overall, and am proud of my five minutes of "fast" pedaling.

I also did five minutes each on the full-body elliptical (that has arm pedals) and treadmill, so overall, I completed a 30-minute workout. Not quite as good as how I did on Friday, but I had a little fall that tripped me up. I went to get onto the elliptical and I guess the crossramp was up because the pedals were very high. I managed to get my left leg up onto the machine, but when I went to hook my right leg over, I slipped, fell off and hit my shin. Ouch! Sometimes being short really sucks.

At work today, I chatted with a colleague who's been going to physical therapy for a broken shoulder. I revealed that I've been going to the gym in an effort to get in shape for Greece and she looked very skeptical. I can't wait to tell her that I "beat" the bike tonight -- and I'll be sure to send her a postcard from Greece.

Friday Night Light

I think my body was telling me something on Thursday when I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop for the gym: I crashed that night. I mean, I was exhausted. For the first time in weeks, I slept through the night.

Instead, I went to the gym yesterday. Yes, I spent my Friday night working out. Karen was getting over a cold, but she accompanied me so she could serve as my trainer/cheerleader.

When I first arrived, I wasn't really in the mood to exercise. I mean, it was Friday and there were a million other places I wanted to be: the movies, out with friends, outside since it was such a gorgeous day. But as soon as I stepped onto the elliptical and got going, I felt energized and was determined to have a good workout. I did -- my best yet. I did 10 minutes on the elliptical, alternating between a crossramp of 10 and 13. I then did 15 on the bike, and though the stupid thing still won't register me as going fast enough, I could sense a difference. Yes, I pedal slowly, but there's a lot less lag on my left leg (say that ten times fast...). Even Karen noticed and was like, "Look how much better you're moving than a couple of weeks ago." After, I did the treadmill and completed my goal of doing 7 minutes, at an incline of 3, maxing out at 2.2 mph. So overall, I did 32 minutes and really pushed myself throughout!

Once I was finished, we decided to go to one of our favorite neighborhood joints, Tu Casa. I was too lazy to change back into my work clothes (gross, I know, but deal), so Karen helped me out by spraying her Kim Kardashian perfume on me. So we arrived at the place with me smelling like sweat and skank, but happily, they had an outdoor table available. I ordered roasted chicken with rice and treated myself to a glass of mango juice. A live band was playing salsa music and it felt really good to be outside, eating healthy food after a decent workout.

Today I'm feeling the effects of it as I'm kind of stiff and sore, but I'm determined to get outside. Jon and I just made plans to see a movie this evening, so I'll get a little walking in later. Meantime, I've been using the Weight Watchers food journal so I can keep better track of my portions.

Karen and I then have more "gym dates" scheduled for next Mon-Wed. I'm going to stay where I am for a while, between 30-35 minutes, but I hope to soon be on my way to a 40-minute workout.

Setting New Goals

Whew! After doing 30 minutes of cardio at the gym, my ankle is pretty sore today. So I took tonight off and figured I'd use this time to plan my workout for tomorrow.

I've been doing pretty well on the elliptical and bike, but I'd like to improve on the treadmill. That said, I'd like to aim for doing seven minutes on it, maxing out at an incline of 3 and a speed of 2.2 mph. If I can maintain this for two minutes, I'll be really happy. No, seven minutes isn't much, but I'm trying to be careful. I feel like going slowly is working for me and I want to continue to progress. For me, a 2.2. mph walk is practically a jog!

I like having a goal for my workouts because it gives me something to be excited about and focused on. I still haven't been sleeping well, which is very annoying. I'd eventually like to do a short BowFlex workout in the mornings, but right now, I'm trying to get all the sleep I can.

In other news, my eating has been going well and I have a lot to look forward to this spring. Things might not be the best with my folks at the moment, but the rest is good. Working out is only making them better.

On My Own

Karen had a work function tonight so for the first time in a long time, I went to the gym on my own. It was fine. No one looked at me or said anything to me, or bothered me in any way.

I completed my goal of 30 minutes and am proud of my work. I ended up doing 10 on the elliptical, 15 on the bike and 5 on the treadmill. On the elliptical and bike, I tried to challenge myself. I kept raising the crossramp on the elliptical and managed to do Level 13; on the bike, I managed to walk at 2 mph, with an incline of 2.5. Though I have a lot of work to do, I've definitely improved from last week. Hopefully, I'll continue to see results each week and will be in nice shape for our trip. If I keep pushing myself -- gradually -- I'll get there.

The hardest part of my workout is still having to climb those damn stairs at the end. It's just that when I'm finished exercising, I want to collapse; I don't want to climb a huge staircase. But I figure that this is getting me into shape, as well, so it's all good...

Does This Fat Make My Ass Look Big?

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't think that men obsess over their bodies the same way that women do. Sure, many wish they were thinner or had more muscles, but the guys I know don't stare at themselves and dissect every body part either.

Today, while Karen and I were at the gym, we made the mistake of turning to look at ourselves in the mirror while we were on the ellipticals. Given that we were both a) wearing gym clothes and were sweaty and b) positioned at an unflattering angle, this was a really dumb idea. Needless to say, we both began to complain about how big our asses are (for the record, hers is just fine).

"I feel sorry for the person working out behind me," she sighed.

"Don't worry, they're probably too busy staring at me," I said.

The truth is, I don't think anyone cared about us at all because they were too busy working out themselves. Still, I took a look around to check out everyone else's asses (yeah, I'm like that). And they, not so surprisingly, came in all shapes and sizes. In fact, there were a lot of overweight people there, so my ass really wasn't all that special!

Later, I worked out on the bike. I still can't pedal quickly enough for it to register me, but I stayed on for 15 minutes, which is an accomplishment in itself. I like the bike because it's in the center of the gym, so I can people-watch as I exercise. Some people do very strange stuff. There was this teeny, tiny, itty-bitty slip of a woman who looked as if she could be a gymnast. She literally pulled one leg up behind her head and then held that pose for about a minute. She then did a handstand and stayed that way for a while. I was sort of intrigued by her unusual routine, but the jealous part of me hated her for being so thin and obviously fit.

Then there was a man who'd do one curl on the weight machine, get up walk around for five minutes, go back and do another curl, and so on. Is there a point? I know you have to wait between sets, but this seemed to be taking this to extremes.

Regardless, I've had a successful two weeks at the gym and can already feel some slight differences in the way I move. Karen even commented that it looked as if I were having fewer problems getting up the stairs.

I'm not nearly ready for Greece, but I am getting there one step at a time -- literally. My fat ass is moving more than it has in a long time.

Can You Kick A Cardio Machine In The Nads?

When it comes to working out, I'm definitely a "tortoise" at the moment. I apparently move so slowly that the cardio machines literally won't register me being on them. When I went on the elliptical this evening -- a different kind than the one I was on yesterday as this one also worked out your arms -- I pedaled as quickly as I could, but the program kept going to "pause." I was moving so slowly that it thought I was stopping! The nice man next to me tried to fix the machine, but I explained that it was me, and not the elliptical. I then told him all about my leg and my surgery and he stepped away. I don't know whether he was actually finished with his workout or if I'd scared him off with my blathering.

Next, I went on the bike and the same thing happened: I couldn't pedal quickly enough for it to register. Don't get me wrong, I was pushing myself -- and sweating like a pig to prove it -- but it wasn't good enough for El Biko. I just couldn't get my left leg to pedal at whatever speed the machine wanted. I wonder if the machine would register my workout if I gave it a hard kick? Do machines have nads?

Annoying machines aside, I'm glad that I joined the gym. Besides this gives me a new, immediate goal: to be in good enough shape so that I "count" with these fucking machines. I'll get there -- and then I will kick the cardio monsters' asses.

Moving Right Along

I returned to th gym tonight and you know what? I felt just a smidge more fit. I went for 15 minutes on the elliptical, then did five on the tread. But my back hurt slightly less and I wasn't breathing quite as hard as I was last Tuesday. The difference was very subtle, but I could feel it.

I still wish I had more energy. I slept all day yesterday, and that's not even an exaggeration. I mean, I slept on and off until 5 p.m.! I think I might have had a bug, but still, that's a lot of time wasted. And I keep falling asleep on the bus, both ways in my commute. What's really annoying is that whenever I fall asleep there, I keep waking myself with this weird snoring noise that I seem to make, "Uuuuuuuhhhhhh." I don't think I make it at night, but I can hear myself doing it here and I feel as if everyone is looking at me.

I hope that as I continue to work out, I'll lose more weight, be able to walk better, sleep better and have more energy. I feel that by moving for just 20 minutes a day, I'm taking my life back into my hands.

It Has To Get Easier, Right?

Karen and I returned to the gym today, where we both kicked ass. We did 10 minutes on the elliptical and then I did five minutes on the treadmill, while she jogged. I went reallllly slowly at 1.1 MPH and my back was killing me, but I stuck it out.

We've made plans to go next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. My goal is to do 15 minutes on the elliptical and 10 on the treadmill. After that, I'll concentrate more on upping the incline and speed on both machines.

When I was finishd working out today, my face was bright red; actually, no, make that purple. And this was after just 15 minutes! I felt fine, save for being sweaty and a little sore, but I'm sure I looked kind of scary with my neon pink shirt and purple face.

One thing I don't like about the gym is that the machines aren't really designed for short, fat people. Getting off the elliptical was a bit tricky and I almost pulled a muscle in my leg. And when I tried to use one of the bikes, I just couldn't get comfortable; I was either too cramped or my legs were too far from the pedals. I hope that as I lose more weight, my increased agility will make up for my lack of height.

The other thing I don't like is that the gym is in a basement, so we have to walk up about 50 stairs to leave. It sucks when you're already exhausted and then have this extra haul. By I suspect that I'll eventually come to appreciate the steps as they provide an extra little workout.

They say it takes about six weeks for something to become a habit. Going to the gym is not yet one for me -- I still have to force myself to haul ass over there -- but I look forward to reaching that point that I've reached in the past where I actually WANT to work out and it's not a chore.

Gym Date And Spinach Juice

Last night, I returned to the gym. I think it went pretty well, considering what terrible shape I'm in. I did 10 minutes on the bike and then 5 on the elliptical. Once upon a time, I could do 90 minutes on the elliptical, but I'll get there slowly, but surely.

The biggest thing I had to deal with were my nerves. It's always tough for me to start something new, especially when it's something that deals with my body. Thankfully, Karen was there so I didn't have to go it alone. When we entered, this woman by the front desk gave me the once over and a strange look, but I ignored her and went on in. After, I felt a little self conscious because I was wearing a bright pink shirt (talk about standing out!), but no one else looked at me or said anything. Besides, Karen assured me that if anyone did, she'd kick his or her ass. It's nice to have such a devoted body guard! We're planning to return to Bally's tomorrow, so my goal is to do 15 minutes on the bike and 10 on the elliptical. That's almost a normal workout.

I'm also continuing my quest to eat more fruits and veggies, so today I tried something new: a juice and spinach mix made with freshly-squeezed apple and orange juice with greens mixed in. It sounded a little odd, but I know a lot of people swear by having greens mixed into their smoothies. It wasn't bad. A little weird, but decent. You'd get the tartness of the fruit juices ... and then an aftertaste of well, salad. I'd try it again, though, especially since it's an easy way to get in some green veggies.

Since I'm doing these things, I'm feeling a little more confident about Greece. If I keep increasing my times on the machines and eating well, I should be able to climb those hills in Santorini. I don't even care how I look for the trip; I just want to have a good time.

Ode To A Grecian Yearn

Karen gave me a Greece travel guide for my birthday. Now Jon and I are seriously starting make plans for a trip to Greece in May. Usually, I'm gung ho about traveling and especially about making plans for it. I'll go through all the hotels and restaurants, and pretty much know a place by hearft by the time we get to it. My friends love traveling with me because I'm willing to do all of the leg work. I'm usually good at finding unusual, but cool places to visit because I put so much time into my research.

Honestly, I'm not feeling it as much this time around because I'm nervous. I want to have a good time on our trip and I'm afraid that I won't be able to climb the hills or walk around the ruins, and will end up driving Jon crazy. Our worst trip was to London, where I could barely walk a block. I ended up having very bad feelings toward a great city because I remember being in pain the whole time. I've been wanting to go to Greece for a long time and want this to be an awesome trip -- especially since we haven't traveled in about a year.

I still have more than three months, though, so I figure that's enough time to get in shape for this. Realistically, I don't have to be in great shape. I don't have to train for a marathon (even that would be appropriate for Greece) or even for a smaller event; I just need to be in good enough shape so that I can walk comfortably and not have to stop at every block. That's a doable goal and one that I should achieve by spring, anyway. I'm already in better shape than I was a few weeks ago when I was sick, so that's a start. And three months is enough time to get into shape so that I can merely walk. I mean, I went from being in a wheelchair to functional walking in about three months. Now I just need to turn that into distance walking.

I'm a little apprehensive about joining a gym again, but I'd like to do that soon. If I work out three times a week, doing the treadmill and elliptical, that will be a really good start.

I know that Jon is very excited about going to Greece. I want to be able to share that with him and enjoy my life again.