All Greek To Me

We're still in Greece and are having a great time. Right now, we're on the island of Crete, which is the largest of the Greek isles. We spent the day exploring the ruins at Knossos and then went to a small museum.

My walking still isn't great, but this trip is giving me a lot of opportunities to be active. Many come up when I don't plan on them. For instance, yesterday we took the Athens subway to the port where we caught the boat to Crete. But what we weren't told was that the entrance to the port was about a mile and a half from the actual boat. So we walked and walked and walked ... and I was feeling pretty good. I stopped every few minutes and was glad I was able to do so much.

Then I looked at my watch and realized that the boat was about to leave in 15 minutes and we were still nowhere near it. At that point, I gave in and hailed a cab. Had I had more time, though, I would've been able to complete the distance.

The day before was spent in the mountain city of Delphi. The bus dropped us off in town and we were told that the ruins were .5 K away. But that was .5 K away from the edge of town -- and the bus station was all the way across town. Again, I ended up walking much more than I'd planned -- on mountain hills, no less. We must've covered a few miles, at least, and by the time we were through with the ruins and made it back to town, I was wiped. My legs hurt and I felt like I was about to pass out. Still, I took a nap on the bus and kind of hobbled to dinner later that evening.

Today, I was proud of myself for hiking all over the ruins, which were pretty vast. The good thing about ruins is that there are always a lot of rocks and walls and large pieces of old things to sit on. So I'd climb a staircase, then sit and enjoy the view. I got to see everything there, but I took my time and enjoyed myself.

I can't say that I've been eating very well. I thought that Mediterranean food was supposed to be healthy, but much of it is fried. The cheese pie, spinach pie, zucchini appetizers ... all fried. I don't like fried too much so I'm getting a little tired of it. Unfortunately, I don't eat fish, so I have to make due with meats and vegetarian stuff -- and it seems like a lot is baked or cooked in oil. Portions are also HUGE, like ridiculously so. I don't speak any Greek so it's difficult to negotiate on an order, so I'm just trying to not eat too much and then walk a lot. I can't tell where my weight is at, but I do feel like I'm getting stronger. I still need Jon's help sometimes when I encounter steep, uneven stairs, and I can feel the lack of strength in my left leg; but I was able to make it around much of the ruins today without help.

Tomorrow, we're heading off to Santorini. I've always wanted to go, so I'm excited. I was nervous about doing this trip, but am glad that I've been able to do much more than I thought.

Greetings From Greece!

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written, but a lot has happened in the past few weeks.

First, there was the craziness with my job situation. My magazine was bought out by a new company and there are a lot of changes. Many people lost jobs. However, I was lucky and received a promotion! FINALLY! It feels really good to get some respect at my job where I work my butt off. I'm sorry that some people lost theirs or received pay cuts, but I'm proud that I've moved up.

Meantime, my jewelry business is going well. My last fair was successful and a lot of fun, and I've been invited to a third fair in June. If things keep up, this could end up being a profitable side business.

As for my weight loss efforts, well, they haven't gone as well as I'd hoped, but they haven't gone badly, either. I haven't gone to the gym as much as I'd planned. However, I've been watching what I eat and have stopped eating when I'm full. I also made an appointment with an endicrinologist for August. I don't like to blame my weight on anything other than myself, but I do suspect that I have a hormonal or thyroid problem. If I do, I need to get it fixed.

Right now, as you've probably guessed from this post title, we are in Greece! We flew into Athens yesterday and will also be visiting Delphi, Crete and Santorini. I was nervous about walking around the city with my limited mobility, but I'm doing pretty well. I even managed to hike up to the top of the Acropolis this morning! It was a long way up, about a mile vertical, with steep hills, but I took my time and stopped every few feet. I enjoyed the view and before I knew it, we were at the top!

I'm glad I did this because yesterday, I was seriously feeling like a Freakish Fat Girl. The seat on the plane felt so tight and I just about made it into the plane's little bathroom. I couldn't put the seat tray down so I had to keep my food on Jon's tray. The nice, but annoying flight attendants were all concerned and were like, "Are you okay? We can bring the food later?" and making a big deal of it when I just wanted them to put their attention elsewhere. Then our hotel room in Athens has this weird, little bathroom with a huge sink that juts out. I was having nightmares back to our hotel in London where I couldn't squeeze into the bathroom to get to our shower, only in this case, I was afraid I wouldn't even be able to get to the toilet -- but I was able to squeeze past and get in. And then this morning, getting in and out was even easier. Hopefully, after all the walking I've done today -- about two miles -- that squeeze past the sink will be even less.

I know that regular-sized people don't encounter these types of problems ... but in-shape people do enjoy things like hiking up mountains and traveling and walking around cities, so it feels good to be doing that.

I think that Greece is going to kick my ass, but as Jon said, I've probably been underestimating myself since I had my surgery. If a country is going to whip me into shape, it might as well be a place that's as beautiful and interesting as Greece.

Happy Anniversary

It was exactly a year ago, April Fool's Day, 2010, that I broke my leg. I can't believe that so much time has passed already. I'm not 100 percent, but I can function and am getting stronger. I know that losing weight will help with my recovery.

I know it seems strange to call this a "happy" anniversary, but I'm grateful for many things. I'm glad that all I did was break my leg and not my neck; I'm glad that my job didn't give me a hard time about taking four months off; I'm glad that I had that time off to reflect on some things in my life, plus the time off gave me the opportunity to do a lot of writing and begin my jewelry venture.

The accident also made me change my perspective on some things. Some of the treatments I went through, like getting my bone popped in, hurt like hell, but I survived them. I survived the surgery. And for a brief time, I got to see what it's like being wheelchair bound. Obviously, I can't compare my situation to someone who is in a wheelchair for life, but I got a taste and it gave me a new respect for things many of us take advantage of. Since then, I've been happy just being able to do things like climb stairs or enter a restaurant or see a movie that's on the second floor. I still think about these things all the time.

I also find that I get less stressed about stuff, save for dealing with my parents. Before I broke my leg, I was thisclose to quitting my job and felt as if I weren't valued. Nowadays, I'm a lot more relaxed at work, even though I have more to do. This attitude has spread to other areas of my life, as well. When I'm with my friends, I like to laugh and celebrate the good things going on in my life rather than complain to them. Before I broke my leg, I was bitching to everyone about my job troubles and I'm sure that was tiresome. Now I'm making more of an effort to stay positive and to surround myself with positive people. In the past, I'd get jealous of friends -- because they were in better shape or had more money or had a new home -- but I'm taking more time to remind myself of what I DO have.

I'm definitely not perfect. There are days when I get very stressed our or angry, and when I complain about silly things. If you read through my entires when I was dealing with my broken leg, I complained often! But at least I've gained more self-awareness so that I can step back and deal with my problems. I hope I never break another bone, but if I had to do so, I'm glad that the incident had such a positive influence on my life.

Last Day

I've reached yet another milestone in my weight loss/broken leg journey. Today was my last day of physical therapy. I've been looking forward to this, but I was surprised at how choked up I got when I told everyone good-bye. Everyone was nice there and they really did help me. They were also sad to see me go because I worked hard.

Now it's up to me to get in shape on my own, and I still have a loooong way to go. The therapist gave me some resistance bands and assigned some exercises for me, which I'll do, but my main goal is to continue with my walking. I am definitely getting better and can walk for longer distances now, but my ankle still starts to ache if I go for too long and I still walk slowly. When I was walking to the bus stop this evening, I tried to force myself to walk more quickly, but the limp is still there. The doctor warned that it'll be there for a while and I just have to keep working through it. At least there's movement in my ankle now. When I first started PT, I could barely rotate it, but now it's almost back to normal. Whenever it gets humid, though, my whole foot starts to swell. Yuck.

As for my eating, I've been doing well this week. Things have calmed down here and I've managed to sleep for the past two nights. I hope that they stay that way and the psycho neighbor who physically attacked my husband will remain out of our lives. But as I said in my last post, I haven't binged! Instead, I've been trying to keep calm by talking to friends and making jewelry. I've been working on constructing wire rings, which is proving to be really difficult. But it's taken my mind off of the recent events. Sometimes things happen in your life where you have no idea how in the hell you ended up in that situation. This is definitely one of those times. That said, I'm happy to be back to my usual routine life.

Feeling Better....

I think my questions about why I was in such a bad mood yesterday were answered by the fact that I slept for 12 hours last night! Obviously, I was just exhausted and needed the rest. My ankle is extemely swollen, too, so I my body was starting to rebel against me for pushing it so hard.

Now that I've had a good night's sleep, I can appreciate my week and yesterday's party a lot better. I wish I could've been more "in the moment" with everything, but I realize that it'll take some more time until my leg is 100 percent and I'm able to do everything I want.

That said, I'm just going to relax today and watch some sitcoms on TV. Doing something fun and mindless is exactly what my body and soul needs. Then it's back to the grind tomorrow, with me hopefully being even stronger than before...

Pants On The Ground

I had a rather unusual problem today -- unusual for me, anyway. My skirt was too big ... and I kept fearing that it would fall down as I walked. I still wanted to wear it, though, because it's brand new and I'd like to get a few uses out of it before having to give it up. That said, I wasn't expecting it to be large on me already. I guess I should've ordered it in the next smaller size. Happily, it stayed intact after I rolled over the waist a few times, but there were a couple of close calls.

Having a problem like this is a good thing, though, as I'm usually concerned that my clothes will split from being too tight on me. Despite having to retire a skirt that I really like, it will be nice to buy smaller and more fashionable outfits.

What's really nice is that more people seem to be noticing the weight loss, though many aren't actually coming out and saying it. Still, I've been getting a lot of comments like, "You look good!" To be fair, I'm not sure if they're saying it to be nice since I had surgery and am finally walking again, but I choose to think they're saying it because I DO look good -- or at least better than I looked a few months ago.

My walking is still shaky, but I'm getting places ... slowly. I think my legs need a break because I was sooo tired today that I could barely move at work. Because I'm back in the city, my social calendar has suddenly filled up. It's fun, but at the same time, I'm looking forward to Sunday when I can sleep in and don't have to worry about going anywhere.

Tomorrow is the big day when I see my orthopedist. Hopefully, this will be my last visit, but I'm nervous that he'll tell me that something is wrong and I'll have to wear a cast again -- or even worse, will need more surgery. I don't THINK that anything's wrong since my leg feels good, but I'll rest a lot easier hearing it from him. It'll definitely be a little strange walking into his office!

I remember how just a couple of months ago, I wasn't sure I'd ever walk again, so being able to move is still a bit of a novelty to me. Here's hoping that a couple of months more from now, all of these struggles that I'm currently dealing with will also be a distant memory.

End Of An Era

Today is the four-month anniversary of my accident .... and my last day of "freedom" since I return to work full-time tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous -- it feels like the first day of school!

I'd be lying if I said that I hated having all of this time off for my job, because I didn't. I liked having the time to do relaxing things like read or watch episodes of How I Met Your Mother, and I enjoyed having the time to write my own stuff. It was also a relief to not have to worry about deadlines and all of the other stressful things that come with my job.

But by having that "freedom," my real freedom was sacrificed in that my broken leg forbid me from moving around easily and doing a lot of things on my own. Then there were all of the painful doctor visits, my surgery and oh, yeah, having to have my bone popped into place. Yeeooouuuch! I definitely WON'T miss any of that.

Still, as much as it sucked to break my leg, this time off wasn't entirely horrible. In fact, there were a lot of good things that happened during these four months:

1. We hosted two awesome parties: our 10th anniversary bash in April and a house party in June.

2. We found some cool, new restaurants in our neighborhood (which Jon wheeled me to, always greatly appreciated. He really went above and beyond for me while I was hurt).

3. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my parents. Sure, the circumstances under which I was seeing them weren't so great, but I still enjoyed having the chance to catch up and feel like we're closer than we've been in a long time.

4. I got A LOT of freelance writing done, which is very cool.

5. I've become close with my friend/neighbor, Karen, who really took good care of me during this time off. We were friendly before, but now we're good friends. Many of my other friends, too, such as Amy, Scott, Lani, Suzanne and Marianna, were really here for me during this time.

6. I've lost some weight and am starting to get back into shape again. Before I broke my leg, I was kind of in a rut, but wanting to walk again has pushed me in the right direction.

See, so breaking your leg doesn't have to be the end of the world, and for me, it actually felt like the beginning of many new things. I'm anxious about tomorrow, but am determined to not let my job drag me into a slump once again. Instead, I'm planning to focus on everything else in my life and find my self worth through those goals. I think that if I do that, I can continue taking care of myself and becoming a better person.

For today, though, I'm planning to relax, take a long shower, relax ... and then go to bed early. Tomorrow is going to be a crazy day and I want to be ready to jump right in!

Next To Normal

We just got back from seeing Inception (a great movie, by the way) and had a fun evening. But what was really nice is that my outdoor walking has gotten so much better, even in just a few days.

Over the past few weeks, I'd have to stop at least once just to get from our apartment to the sidewalk at the end of the courtyard in front of our building. But tonight, I made it all the way without stopping. Then when we got to the neighborhood where the movie theater is, I managed to do a lot of walking, only stopping twice the entire night. The only time when things got really tough were when we were walking along a stretch of sidewalk that was at an odd angle. Since I'm still limping a bit, I really felt it!

I've been using the walker outside for extra security, but tonight, I asked Jon to hold it for me and then walked a stretch of sidewalk without it. It actually wasn't too bad, even though my balance isn't 100 percent yet. But where I really noticed a big difference is when I was walking up and down stairs. Before, I'd have to grip the banister with both hands and then carefully place one foot down and then slowly place the other. Tonight, however, I only needed to grip the rail with one hand and was able to go up the steps one foot at a time like you're supposed to.

I did well with my eating today, too. For dinner, we went to our favorite Southwestern place and I had veggie fajitas made with broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, peppers and onions. So good! I had enough points left over in the day for dessert so we got a box of M&Ms to share in the movies. I only had one serving, though, and put the rest away. The movie was so exciting that I didn't even really feel the need to munch during it. I really don't want to have to give up chocolate, so I was proud of myself for being able to eat some candy and save the rest for later.

All in all, it was a good day, and a nice way to spend my last weekend before I return to work full time. I'm feeling better about doing the commute, now that my walking has improved so much. Jon says that my limp is a lot less pronounced, too. He believes that I'm having less back pain and more success walking because I'm getting stronger, but I think a lot of it has to do with my weight loss, too. Then again, it's probably a combination of both. I don't really care, as long as I continue to feel better and my world continues to get bigger.

A Long Journey

I took my longest walk to date tonight; my friend Karen and I went to the restaurant that's around the corner from my building and I successfully walked there and back! I had to stop a lot of times and what's usually a five-minute walk took about 15 minutes, but that's okay; I'm slowly building up distances. That particular corner also happens to be my bus stop, so now I know that I can make it there for my commute.

Surprisingly, I found it much more difficult to go downhill than uphill. On the way there, I only had to stop three times and I felt good by the time we reached the restaurant. But on the way home, I had to stop five times, was sweating and my ankle hurt. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's because I'd already walked a "long" distance and my body was catching up. Karen mused that it took more work for me to walk downhill because I had less control and had to keep myself from tumbling. That makes sense.

My eating is still going really well. I ate a small lunch today so I could enjoy dinner out and had a nice meal of roasted pork with steamed veggies, black beans and rice. We also split a plate of fried yucca, but between the two of us, we didn't even cover a third of it. I'm discovering that when I have many components to a meal, I tend to eat less of each component. So I filled up on the pork, veggies and beans and then I had less of a craving for the fried stuff.

Karen says that each time she sees me (and we see each other about once a week), that it looks as if I've lost more weight. That's really encouraging to hear, especially since I've been working so hard at it these past few weeks. It's definitely helped me with my walking, as I'm now at least semi-functional.

It's going to be tough when I return to work next week, though, and I'm trying to figure out a food strategy. My problem with my office is that I'm surrounded my temptation. There are take-out places all around my building, a vending machine down the hall and people are always bringing in treats. That said, I think my best bet is to bring some breakfast, lunch and snacks and just continue with the same meals that I've been eating: rolls, low-fat cream cheese, mozzarella, fruit. This way, I'll be set for the day and won't be tempted to order in pizza or something.

I'm definitely not worried about having to sit around all day, though, because just commuting to my job and walking around the office is going to be a strenuous workout for me! It's kind of funny how I used to be able to do 90 minutes on the elliptical not even two years ago, but now a tough workout for me is walking up the block! I think that's why the weight is coming off fairly easily at the moment; now that I'm being so active after months of being immobile, my body is in shock. I'm taking advantage of it while it lasts, because pretty soon, my walk to work will be an afterthought and I'll have to up my game again.

I know that I'm going to have to bite the bullet soon and actually weigh myself. But for now, I'm happy to see my body changing for the better and just want to enjoy feeling independent again.

All Hail The Warrior Queen

It's been two days since I've been back on my feet post broken leg, but today was the first day I did standing exercises in physical therapy. I'm proud to say that it went really, really well.

I explained to them that I wanted to be challenged and they didn't disappoint. My session ended up lasting more than two hours!

I'm really glad that I've been doing some standing exercises on my own for the past couple of days, so I wasn't too nervous when they asked me to get out of the wheelchair. However, I was a little hesitant when the therapists asked me to do my workout barefoot, explaining that I wouldn't be able to move as well with the AirCast. It really wasn't bad, though. I feared that without the brace, my ankle would be twisting all over the place and I'd break it again, but my leg felt surprisingly stable. Then again, I have plates and screws in it, so I have some extra support there.

Thanks to all of the practice I've had lifting myself in and out of chairs and cars and beds, etc., I was able to pull myself up out of my chair without help -- and the therapists were impressed. They then had me do 50 semi-squats, 50 shifts of weight from one foot to another and 60 marches in place. Those were the most difficult because whenever my good leg came up, all of my weight was on my bad leg. I had to take a couple of breaks during this exercise, but I managed to do 10 extra than they'd asked for.

One of the therapists, Dave, also had me do a bunch of resistance band exercises, which I really liked. He initially had me using a band that had the resistance of 1-2 pounds (the resistance comes from the thickness of the material; it's more "bendy" when the resistance is lower), but it was too easy for me and he gave me the next level up, 3-4 pounds. That was actually kind of easy for me, too, so I'm going to try the next level during my session on Tuesday. But he was pleased to see that I was doing so well and wasn't in too much pain -- and then called me a "warrior," which was cool. I think he appreciated having a patient who was willing to work hard and was enthusiastic about the process. I think it's the A-student in me; a teacher gives me an assignment and I want to do well.

It was frustrating how out of breath I was getting, though, even from just a few minutes of exercises. I don't know if it's because of my weight or because my leg is still so weak and I have to concentrate so hard to move it still. But I pushed through and got everything done. I'll continue to do the same workouts using that railing in our hallway (with Jon spotting me for safety).

One thing I like about these therapists is that they're encouraging, but not pushy to the point that you want to kill them. I never went for the whole drill sergeant thing with teachers or conductors or coaches. I'm just too thin-skinned. But these guys gave me a lot of positive reinforcement and kicked my ass in the process.

All of this is making me wonder if I should work with a personal trainer in the future. My big concern with a trainer is that many don't know how to deal with obese clients. From the few times I've dealt with them and from what I've heard of other overweight people who've worked with them, they tend to underestimate or overestimate their clients' abilities. Back in my beloved gym, I tried out a trainer, but he was too scared to challenge me; I think he was afraid I'd get a heart attack while using the elliptical or something, so I got bored and ended up working out on my own. However, I've also heard many stories of trainers telling obese people to run or do things that can hurt their knees and backs. I'm all for being pushed, but there are safety concerns that come with obesity. I can't even watch The Biggest Loser because my knees hurt just watching these seriously overweight people run on treadmills with the trainers barking at them. Some people go for that, I guess, but I wish we'd see a show where they demonstrated realistic exercises for obese people to do. Maybe I can come up with such a show in the future when I'm in shape.

Anyway, I digress, but it feels good to be back on a regular exercise program, even if my movements are limited for now. It was nice to be told that I'm doing a great job with something physical. After months of being unable to do a lot of stuff, this was just what I needed.

Walking The Walk

Since my orthopedist advised me to "be aggressive" in regards to getting back on my feet I've been trying to follow that. And you know what? It seems to be working.

I still can't exactly walk yet and I have absolutely no balance in my bad leg, but I feel like I'm already building muscle -- even in just a day. Though I can't yet ambulate, I'm still trying to get a feel for actually being on my feet and came up with a little workout to do so that my leg can get used to supporting the weight. While gripping the stair railing in our building's hallway, I marched in place 60 times, then did 60 reps where I got up on my toes and lowered my heels (to strengthen the calves and loosen up the tight spot in my foot). I then did 60 "shuffles," where I took three side steps to the right, three to the left.

It felt pretty good to be on my feet again and even in a short time, I can feel a difference. When I tried to move yesterday, I was dragging my leg along as if it were dead; I felt as if I could barely lift it. But today, the movement felt a lot more natural, especially as my exercises went on. Even Jon noticed the improvement while he spotted me.

Of course, I still have a long way to go. As of now, I'm still not secure enough in my balance to even face forward and walk with a normal gait; I have to grip the banister and shuffle sideways. I also couldn't believe how out of breath I was after doing maybe 15 minutes of exercise. I don't know if I'm just that out of shape or if it was because I was concentrating so hard. Still, I felt as if I were accomplishing something and am looking forward to physical therapy tomorrow. Everyone I know who's had a broken leg tells me that you reach at least some level of normalcy fairly quickly, so it'll be nice to be able to walk again, even if I do have to use a walker. I'm hoping that if I do my own workout routines at home in addition to the PT that I can even get beyond that at a quicker speed. My friend, who also broke her ankle last fall, says that she's just starting to walk without a limp all of these months later. I'd like to think, though, that if I really push it, I can speed up the process.

It'll also be great to ditch the "moon boot," which is actually quite uncomfortable to wear while moving. My doctor wants me to transition into wearing sneakers, which will feel really weird after being in various casts all of this time. What's funny, though, is that the sneakers I have are still new. They're those fancy Sketchers sneakers that supposedly help tone your legs. I got them a week before I fell so I never really got to try them out. Maybe now I'll finally get to see if they work!