Big Improvements

Okay, first the bad news: I didn't go crazy yesterday, but I did have a mini-binge last night. It's my time of the month (sorry any guys who are reading this) and I was craving salt and so I asked my husband to bring me some mozzarella sticks and fries. I ate the mozz sticks and a couple of fries ... but then I was like, "What are you doing?" and tossed the rest. I guess it's good that I stopped myself.

I'm not sure what triggered this exactly, though I have been a little depressed. I think that summer is getting to me. It always seems to be too hot, too long and rather endless and well, kind of empty. The city quiets down. Most of my friends are teachers so they have the time off and many go away. I'm happy for them because they've worked hard, but this year in particular, it's getting to me because we were supposed to go to Argentina and now we can't. I also feel as if my support system isn't around as much as it was thia spring. It's a bit ironic that just at the point that I'm getting more able to do things, the people in my life are disappearing. I realize that it's selfish for me to think this; I mean, I realize that the world doesn't revolve around me, but the situation has made me restless. i'm going to sound like a big baby for what I'm about to say, but, well, here goes: I'm jealous that everyone else is going to have fun and I feel as if I'm being left behind. I mean, what do I have to look forward to -- going back to work, really. I wish I could go on a REAL vacation, as opposed to just having time off for an injury.

But there is good news. Each day, it's getting just a little easier for me to get around on my own. I switched from the Air Cast to a regular sneaker yesterday, so I'm finally back to wearing normal shoes (even though the sneaker had to be unlaced halfway because my foot is still swollen). PT went well and when my dad brought me back upstairs, I successfully managed to walk from the front door to our bed. Then yesterday evening, I walked to the bathroom and Jon helped me into the shower -- my first REAL shower in three months! Yes, I HAVE been washing frequently, but I've been doing it by sitting at the sink and cleaning myself that way. Since our shower has a step into it and I wasn't supposed to get the cast wet, it was tough for me to climb in all of this time. But I finally got to do it last night!

This morning, though, was my biggest challenge. Jon always leaves me breakfast, but instead of giving me a roll, gave me two packs of low-fat cream cheese. I didn't want to live on grapes and bananas all day, so I took the walker and made my way to the kitchen and back -- by MYSELF -- to get my roll. I was a bit nervous about traveling while I'm home alone, but it was fine. I feel as if I'm getting the hang of this whole walking thing. I know I'd mentioned that my goal was to walk from the front door to our living room, but this was actually a longer distance. I had to stop halfway to sit for a few seconds, but the mission was completed.

Don't get me wrong, walking is still very difficult for me. My foot is very sore whenever I place weight on it and I'm limping really hard. I kind of look like the Frankenstein monster as I go, step, CLOMP, step, CLOMP, but I'm moving and putting weight on it, which is important.

What's a little frustrating is that my back is bothering me when I walk for a long time or do my PT exercises. My therapist assures me that it'll ease up as my leg and back get stronger, but it concerns me given my past back issues. I just hate having the return of that familiar aching sensation. Much as I hated being off of my feet for the past few months, it was nice not having to deal with back pain when I walked.

Of course, I know that things will continue to get easier for me. But being able to get around our apartment is a great start and very appropriate for Independence Day weekend!