Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Does This Fat Make My Ass Look Big?

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't think that men obsess over their bodies the same way that women do. Sure, many wish they were thinner or had more muscles, but the guys I know don't stare at themselves and dissect every body part either.

Today, while Karen and I were at the gym, we made the mistake of turning to look at ourselves in the mirror while we were on the ellipticals. Given that we were both a) wearing gym clothes and were sweaty and b) positioned at an unflattering angle, this was a really dumb idea. Needless to say, we both began to complain about how big our asses are (for the record, hers is just fine).

"I feel sorry for the person working out behind me," she sighed.

"Don't worry, they're probably too busy staring at me," I said.

The truth is, I don't think anyone cared about us at all because they were too busy working out themselves. Still, I took a look around to check out everyone else's asses (yeah, I'm like that). And they, not so surprisingly, came in all shapes and sizes. In fact, there were a lot of overweight people there, so my ass really wasn't all that special!

Later, I worked out on the bike. I still can't pedal quickly enough for it to register me, but I stayed on for 15 minutes, which is an accomplishment in itself. I like the bike because it's in the center of the gym, so I can people-watch as I exercise. Some people do very strange stuff. There was this teeny, tiny, itty-bitty slip of a woman who looked as if she could be a gymnast. She literally pulled one leg up behind her head and then held that pose for about a minute. She then did a handstand and stayed that way for a while. I was sort of intrigued by her unusual routine, but the jealous part of me hated her for being so thin and obviously fit.

Then there was a man who'd do one curl on the weight machine, get up walk around for five minutes, go back and do another curl, and so on. Is there a point? I know you have to wait between sets, but this seemed to be taking this to extremes.

Regardless, I've had a successful two weeks at the gym and can already feel some slight differences in the way I move. Karen even commented that it looked as if I were having fewer problems getting up the stairs.

I'm not nearly ready for Greece, but I am getting there one step at a time -- literally. My fat ass is moving more than it has in a long time.

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